Monday, December 3, 2012
Liar, Liar. Pants on Flames.
Please bare with me, as everything inside my abdominal cavity is seething from the 43 minute "FAIL" montage I just found on you-tube. It just wouldn't let up, you barely get a break for the entirety of the 43 minutes. People coming across serious miss-fortune on bicycles, just kills me. Because they never seem to be able to get their hands down in time to break their face-plant, so their face just squashes up against the asphalt, and grinds along for bit - in that dolphin dive style - with their legs still flailing about in the air. They always seem so determined to clutch the handle-bars allllll the way down, as if they're too stubborn to admit that they have fallen to the point of no return. I had to pause the video and re-group like seventeen times. This new parkour craze is doing wonders for fail videos on the internet also. Yeh, just some things I noticed.
Just quickly - here is the relevant part:
We shared the stage at the UniBar last week with Deep Sea Arcade, who were nice enough to share several Monica Lebrewski's with us before-hand too. Additionally, they were damn schmick live - real tight, and they make some quality tunes - and their bass player Nick is a babe. Al-right? Great Hair-do. Also -
several people of recent have genuinely thought that The Shiny Brights are no longer. NO DAD. They are still kickin' it. Just thought that should be clarified. Given, we took the foot off the gig-pedal - but for good reasons - mainly, to churn out several more chart topping sonnets.
Who has had #BSACK luck with parking inspector lately? I know I have, and I'm Fuming. Kumar is absolutely spot-on in his appraisal of a cop in this greeeeaaaat clip. This probably applies to Parking inspectors even more so. So I have started to just take things into my own hands:
(click that shizz to enlarge)
I think my steaming-to-collected ratio wasn't too bad... considering. I was nothing but honest too - I'm banking on them completely withdrawing my double-whammy fines in exchange for my unparalleled honesty, likelihood = 6%. It would be zero percent, but then I took into account the thousands of people that work for the council, and the fact that there must be some skerrick of possibility that one of them is having an extraordinarily good day - like they just got proposed to or something, and they're just like; This dude seems like a bit of a darl, Stuff it, I'm gonna rip those fines of his right up, alriiiight. Or, at the other end of the working-for-the-council spectrum, they are having an appalling day, and their sequence of events for the day is so amazingly awful - like they just got demoted/pee'd their pants/got knocked back from a 3am date at red square/could only get the TV4ME channel/ someone set their stapler in jelly.....anyway - so their day is so horrific that they just jump on their nude MS-DOS database platform and just start deleting parking fines altogether. I mean, the latter is really the ideal scenario. Sort of like the gay dude who hit the emergency blow-up slide button, so he could bail on his flight-attendant shift - and just swiped a bottle of clicquot on his way out. Just completely lost it, and created whatever anarchy he could with his last dying employment breath. So I'm sort of just hoping I turn on the news and hear something along those lines - I know it's unlikely - that's why I bequeathed it with a mere 3% chance. The other 3% being for the woman who just got engaged yeah?.....I actually have another separate 250 dollar fine too, but I'm not going to venture there - because when I think about that, I nearly grab two pencils, place one in each nostril, and slam my head on the desk as hard as I can. Hence severing my frontal lobe into three clean pieces (I've been listening to a lot of Necro).
On the up-side - I have sausage casserole for lunch, which is great. It's an old recipe of grandma's - and it's both nostalgic, and delicious to eat. Grandma used to have this cat called Biggles. She found it in a gutter, it's previous "owner" had hit it in the head with a hammer, and left it in the nearby gutter - in an attempt to rid himself of the little kitty. But....what? What a ridiculous way to go about the disposal of an unwanted cat? and what's more, it didn't work? Biggles damn-well lived into his twenties, and spent the majority of his life on Grandma's lazy boy, in-front of an open fire place, in a country house with 3cm long, luscious carpet? Like, why didn't the guy who wanted to get rid of his cat - venture to AT LEAST the next suburb? Or just drown it, purely to ensure first and foremost, that the cat is in fact, dead. I've concluded that the guy was high - and he thought Biggles was a furry nail. I dunno - I just always found that story silly. It could be totally fabricated, I guess. But Biggles DID have a funny shaped noggin.
But shoosh, the point is that we are stock-piling demo's - getting ready to release in the new year. So stay tuned, and don't get that quivering top lip at the thought that we aren't together any-more - because we are. We just like to hide in the tall grass at times. mmmmmmK?
Thanks for your attention.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
In case you didn't hear, the one and only Graham "Studdly" Cornes gave us a lil' shout out on 5AA AM radio the other day. *drinking vessels clink*....
He didn't have to do that, you know? But he did. Because he's a good man, and a bloody good used car dealer - who understands the basic principles of supply and demand, and the need for a man to earn some of that sweet Bunse. I would imagine that he would take no less than a 200% mark-up on a second-hand 2003 Toyota Camry (trade in/resale proffdog), and that's why this is a big deal. Studdly is a mover and shaker, and blessed be he who receives thy nod of affirmation from ye Goliath of South Australian football.
A mention must also be made for the subsequent 12 "over fifties users" facebook likes we received as a result of the shout-out - which I for one know would have taken each user at LEAST twenty-five minutes to suss out. What with having to find their prescription glasses case, turning the power on at the wall and on the hard-drive, ringing their nieces who signed them up to Facebook to retrieve their login deets (which is actually written on a post-it stuck to the monitor), sifting through hundreds of undesired results regarding laundry's and white-goods, going through up-to-and-including three earl grey tea's to calm the nerves (which have developed as a result of the flourishing technology), and taking up to thirty seconds to type each individual letter. See what I mean? It's more like fifty minutes, and we haven't even gotten into the possibility of them still rocking a Dial-up internet scheme yet, either. All I am trying to say is, our spike in "likes" doesn't reflect the true value of the interaction. OK?
Twiddle the knobs on your wireless below to 'ave a listen:
Cornesy loves TSB
Cornes muses. He mentions that little-known band - The Temper Trap, who are booked for the AFL Grand Final, should perhaps be told to step aside for the much more established, heaps signed, ARIA chart dominators - The Shiny Brights.....and THAT my friends, is why Studdly is THE MAN.
Furthermore I am a bell-end.....and.....we were devilishly rubbing our palms together when our bestest babes, The Salvadors, recently made a few tunes available for all to listen, via Soundcloud.
Lovin' this tune aye, strewth.
Seriously. It's good.
More to the point, The Salvadors are releasing an album, and if you aren't at the Governor Hindmarsh Hotel on Saturday 13th of October - you are most-probably a Weiner. Nay, a can't hack it panny-waste - who wears his mamma's bra, and plays ball like a girl. So......
Thanks for being there.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
After a brief inspection, it became apparent that the would-be robber, was infact my house mate - who had returned after leaving early for work to find his sack or some fucking anti climax of that nature. So nothing happenend. But if I had been in an altercation with the night bandit, the headlines may have read something like these......?
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July 13 @ Rock Lilly, Sydney w/FAKER
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July 14 @ FBi Social, Sydney w/Dj Cutloose, The Nectars and Train Robbers
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July 20 @ Revolver, Melbourne w/The MESSENGERS (VIC)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
It is with great pleasure that we release our third single that has been produced under the crafty eyes of Paul "Woody" Annison. The Clip Took us the best part of a pleasant, but seedy Sunday. Believe it or not, the clip was made taking every single frame individually. What you are seeing is 1,500 pieces of A3 paper - each with a singular frame on it. Each is held for a single photo, then the subject is moved ever so slightly, to achieve the stagnant movement. GENIUS, I know right? Badass handshakes all round. You can all just buy us beers when we are out next.
The clip was directed by close friend and creative juggernaut Tom Stevens, to whom I owe a carefully cooked chocolate pudding, or something of that ilk.
We hope you enjoy, and please share around feely! Free Willy!
Totally Love you guys.
Free Download of the new single here!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
I lolled. Some may have even LSHMTFOIMC'd.....
(Laughing so hard my turban falls off into my curry) this is actually a recognised acronym - I read it somewhere.
The other day I went to the movies/pictures/flicks/films, (depending on what decade you were born in, or which english county you prefer) I went to see "The Five Year Engagemnt". I thought to myself, before I enter the cinema - I'll sidle over to the Candy Bar - just to ensure they are stocking the appropriate confectionery/ popcorn butter. After twice turning down service offers from the drastically overstaffed cinema eatery, I came to the conclusion that I best purchase a beverage, just in case I need a vice to detract my attention away from how potentially annoyed I may be half way through the film - if it's as Borry as the trailer suggests. It was upon ordering my large diet coke - for which price I could have probably flown Jason Segel to the Piccadilly for a game of checkers - that a moment of pure bliss and disbelief came over me. I strolled up to the register, where I was confronted by the Veronicas backing dancers (5 staff members at once - who's doing the rosters here?) and politely requested they fix me a large diet coke. The Selena Gomez serving me yells down the assembly line...(I still can't believe this - the poooooor girl) in a moment of devastating awkwardness like I have never seen, she goes "One large COCK please...COKE! One Large COKE!".
I couldn't even hide my embarrassment for her, I was choking on mouth farts trying to contain my amazement. She then tries to mop-up her sexually connotative error by offering "...ooooo what's on MY mind hey??"... The hole she had dug was so deep she was flicking lava out with her spade. All the while, she hasn't actually realised THAT I AM STILL STANDING THERE LISTENING. I'm still eagerly awaiting my large diet coke obviously - I fucking paid for it in gold bullion. She looks up and notices that I was, in fact, there the whole time. She had a look on her face like her mum just burnt her winning lottery ticket after deeming it to be sinful. She then places her now frantically shaking hand over her mouth and just mutters "Oh. My. God...". THEN - the best part.....SHE JUST LEAVES. Bang. Just like that. See you fucking later - I'm clocking off. I may never, ever return. Her embarrassment could only be measured in Killer Whales, or mining transport vehicles.
I had gargantuan props for her prompt exit. Her aesthetically similar friend ended up getting me the delayed soda. She looked at her shoes and slid it across the counter. I had the biggest grin you have ever seen on my face and just said,
You know what else promises to be an awesome event? Monday.
Because MOnday my friends, is the day that The Shiny Brights drop their newest single!!! YAY-town!
Confetti and streamers people!
Stay tuned and be the first to hear it, and to see the stunning new film clip - one with a clever edge, you just wait and see you skallywags! Aye!
All the best. Ron Artest. Meta World Peace.
PS - The movie turned out to be funny, best night ever.
I also made this appropriate image.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
These are some picture messages I have received recently.
We got Beebs there, with some weepers. Penocchio (look closely). Also Dong kwok.
Because all you Barry’s check this blog every few hours - eagerly sifting for another dose of humour and intrigue; you may have seen The Brights do a little diddy or two on a rooftop in Sydney? Dem clips were filmed by two Sydney lads who were even cooler than the local scenesters down at the Excelsior. Believe it or not we conquered the two chunes in minimal takes, and they colour graded the footage to make us look more tanned and sexual, even if I was ear-tagged as looking like a sexual predator - One who preys in the night, outside 24 hour fast food outlets, or even better – near cab ranks. Anyway- share around the clips, we will get some sort of viral toilet flush going. Maybe.
I looked out of the window this morning and became fixated on one of those really old codgers that just does laps of the block, but at a charismatic rate of like 400 metres per hour. Hushpuppies – check. Repping one of those old man baggy hats, pants up near the navel, and enough bryll-creem to lube a chimney. He just shuffles maybe 8 or 9 steps and then just takes in the scenery with his hands interlocked behind his back, as if to say “being in a rush is for poonces, mate”. People will argue that his sloth like pace is due to a double hip replacement, and copping seven 9mm slugs to the solar-plexus in World War 2, but I think he is just making a point? When is the last time you went for a walk, and just looked at shit? Without a destination or timeframe? I live on a busy road too, not even the screeching of exhaust brakes or the wafting smell of manure as a piggery truck passes can shake this guy – who I have named Vince. It’s so awesome to observe this dude, especially when he reaccommodates his extremely high beige slacks, it’s as if he wants his ciggie packet in his top pocket to god-damn-well rest on his belt buckle, like a boob shelf. I could have a boob shelf if I wanted. When I am Vince’s age – I’ll be shelving my darts. On my boob – not my up my nuse. Ok?
I just can’t stop writing about this Leeeeedge. Vince usually rolls about 300 meters down Portrush, and sometimes hobbles...nay – leans, into the Marden shopping centre. Like, he has a gangster lean (probably the hip, not dissimilar to the lean of Wiz Khalifa), and it is here - on a bench next to the 80’s style water feature, that he catches up with his other grossly Italian pals. Call their daily union queer, but I watch them toss around banta in rapid Italiano, and I am deeply jealous, and feel like a boring wanker. I popped into the woollies the other day to pickup some fetta cheese, steel wool and twix’s, and as I was leaving the check-out they gestured to me amongst themselves, and were obviously throwing around hilarious jokes about my clothes/hair-do/infant face/weird walking style. I locked eyes with one of them briefly – then I did this......
But, instead of feeling self-conscious – I just felt left-out. Just desperately un-funny. I think they respected that. I’m also well aware that because I can’t puree my own tomatoes from my watered concrete veggie patch, into a delicious Napolitano sauce - I will never be truly accepted into their circle.
But will the Shiny Brights be accepted into your circle? Into your social media realm? Into your hearts and Ice-breaking conversations around the workplace water cooler? You better consider this sooner or later, because there are many-a-iron-in-the-fire.....and by that I mean we have a newly acquired, peeeeeaar-ful (powerful) mojo for writing a new brand of dreamy guitar soaked indie rock music that promises to make even the gloomiest Jimmy Bollard nod his head. Comprende?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Blog that keeps giving. That's what everyone is saying. Around the streets.
Run With Scissors Live Acoustic.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Jonesez @ Revolver
After we peeled our wet and soiled shirts off, and doused our balls in deodorant, we B-lined for the bar. Then the Dj decks. Then the dance-floor. Then the Dj decks. Then I had three people in a piggy-back. Then we skulled white wine from the bottle. Then I tried several times to Moonwalk, but was denied due to the caked Bacardi breezer spillage all of the floor. I told you we were the bestest damn five buddy-ol-pals anyone could ever have. Didn’t I.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
In other news, we played a string of shows in the last few weeks, no white loafers were worn.
Our FUSE Festival show at Jive in Adelaide was great, we played a bunch of new songs, babes melted.
We're of to Melbourne to play a show at Revolver on 2nd March (Friday) with Jonsez. Can't wait for those sweet mini cans of coke on the flight.
Also this week Radar Radio added us to their playlist, pretty cool eh? My mum thinks so, Dad reckons it's alright too. Keep an "ear out" and hopefully you will hear us, if not you'll probably hear one of the tracks below.
BrightLightsBigCity – Clubfeet
Running It – Diafrix
Days – The Drums
Let You Go – Pete Murray
No Sleep – Wiz Khalifa
Let’s Forget All The Things That We Say – Julia Stone
Rosebud – The Jezabels
Run With Scissors – The Shiny Brights
SONG OF THE WEEK: Rosebud – The Jezabels
RECORD OF THE WEEK: ‘In A Million Years’ – Last Dinosaurs
Boom Goes the Dynamite.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Now that I have your undivided attention, Hello....how are you?
I trust the happiness gods have granted you good virtue of recent........What?!.... I dunno. Back off.
Moments ago a man busted me talking to myself. This happens more than you would have thought. You know when you are pondering conversations that you might be having soon, when you assume the person you will be conversing with will have some gay rebuttal to whatever you say, regardless? So you sort of sit there and rehearse some “slap back” options – to shut the person up? Or also, repeating conversations you have already had – and rehearsing what you wish you had said? Even though the conversation was a week ago – and the culprit has forgotten you even had a conversation? Sometimes it takes me up to five minutes to realise I am muttering to myself at a low volume, and I appear to be Barry Bazrenath. But it’s worse when you are like at home doing the dishes or something mindless, and you assume no-one is home, so you REALLY go for it. Like, you are just having full blown conversations with yourself, proper volume and shet. Then your brother walks in, but your back is turned – so your still going through conversation options out aloud, while he stands there startled by your sheer autism. I’m the king at getting sidetracked, this is a great example. But anyway a dude caught me talking to myself, then when I looked up – he pretended to be hastily writing a text message. His kerfuffle was just as bad as mine in a way.
5 Notable events of recent:
1. Run With Scissors film clip soars above 1,000 hits in the first 3 weeks. (A-plus gold star)
2. Blue Toes and Run With Scissors are added to Radar radio in Sydney (High five)
3. Run With Scissors film clip is featured on numerous blogs, including Djs weekly top 20, Rip it up, Glam Adelaide and Play Pause Play. (four-step pre-rehearsed handshake)
4. The Shiny Brights are added to the Go here-Go There festival in Kings Cross, w/ King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard (yell YEAH!)
5. The band performs new track Pushing Daisies with Delia Obst for the first time to a jam-packed crowd at Arcade Lane for the Fringe Festival (firm handshake and lots of nodding)
Now that I have inputted some relevance to this blog, I am free to write about things that really matter, like why my seatbelt always locks up - just when I need to lean forward to peer into a seemingly free parking space, only to have my bollocks kicked when I realise that it is of course, an unusually stubby car – like an old fiat or some mini minor piece of poo. EVERYTIME, I’m fuming. Or when it’s a scooter? Up yours mate. Your seatbelt locking up is so infuriating? Like you are just in a shit mood for the next hour, because your 89 corolla chooses the exact opposite times to cease up; when I brake frantically – where is the lock up? It is nowhere to be seen, it’s somewhere between my whip-lash and stinky 80s brake pads, that’s where it damn well is. I’m writing a letter to yoshimitsu Toyota.
Also, why are people in hospitality or customer service related employment such shit blokes? Did you waltz into the public bar interview not expecting to be talking to people? Is there a reason why you are still in this line of work despite possessing horrific service skills and a poor-mans attitude? I’m allowed to order a beer, surely. Don’t give me that blaze, “you are a retard” attitude mate – or get another job? No excuses. I’m fuming. Also, am I invisible? I have a reflection so..... maybe serve me before the bryl creem rep next to me who JUST ARRIVED. Jeeeeeeeeez. My internal dialogue does back flips in these situations.
Enough of that negativity. HOLLA!
Fuse is on Thursday night, we have a good showcase going on with The Guppies from NSW, The Leit Motif and Delia Obst. If you don’t come and see Delia – you lose. Because she is of a high calibre, true ‘dis. It is also FREE, so no reason not to go right? Good music, no expenditure? Sounds good to me. Beers also available for those Hoola hoopers and pac-man video gamers. To be sure, to be sure (irish accent). Ok, well – talk soon guys.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you....
Cue: Henry Nutt for explanation....
firday night, siem reap...December something.. disposing of our horrific hangovers by searching through the ancient temples of Ankor Wat, Ankor Thom and the Bayon Temple, we decided that perhaps a quiet evening was in order. "what should we do?" miles questioned. "lets go to the markets!" i replied. miles rolls his eyes, as he now accustomed to the fact that all i want to do is look at markets and try to get ripped off. "lets get dinner first" he replied. i then looked at him and said "yuuuuuggghhhh maaatee"....(said as if your throat is very dry and you have been up for 4-6 days) so we made our way to the infamous "Pub Street" courtesy of our adorable Tuk Tuk driver "helvut" "or "heavut" or something. i called him helmet. he was cute...miles said he head looked like that of an old dried cashew. i didn't see the resemblance, but thought he was delicious nonetheless.
Arriving on pub street, where the damage had been done the night before. chills run down the spin as you wander past clubs and pubs you ventured the night before. noticeably a little place called Ankor wat? (original huh?) were miles and i settled in and i choofed my newly adopted cigar addiction. Look, we got on it....we drank a few beers ok? we drank a few beers to the tune $0.75 a pint or a jug for $2.50...what was i supposed to do? as time went by and i very slowly spent $20, miles and i decided to get some air, and look at another place...this place was literally over the street, called "temple" (again, original..bless them) we strolled in to the bar and noticed a burley man with the "David Brent" style goatee waving at us. to our confusion we head over. "Are you'se ozzies? ya look like ozzies??" the man proclaimed. "ah yeah man, we are. how are ya?" we replied a little annoyed at what we had just heard. "fuckin good maate! im aaron and this is Chris, (pointing to his much younger friend) and this is my bird (i forget her name, but she was cambodian). miles and i look at one another, as if to think something is out of place. why is a 30 something year old man hanging out with a young 20ish year old man and a maybe 20ish year old SIem Reap Local? miles got chatting to chris, who was actually a terrific fella, and i got stuck with me new best mate....aaron. after some idol chit chat, he informs us that he works on the mines or whatever, and was basically in asia to get on it. "beers are $0.75, whats wrong with the world!! Nothin!! cocktail jugs are 3 bucks! whats wrong with the world!! nothing!! see my bird here?? $50 bucks for two days! whats wrong with the world? nothin!!" this was an actual quote from aaron word for word...as my eyes widened to the information my brain was slowly piecing together, aaron had selected a young lady to be "his" for two days....if there is anything wrong with the world. its aaron...surely... we went back to ankor wat? and drank 250 beers that was that...
i forget what i was supposed to be telling you... oh yeah miles and his scooter. yeah. so we get pub street and select a restaurant. its called the red piano, i remember this as angelina jolie ate there once...and they dont let you forget it. we each had a cocktail to sooth our hung tummys and ordered western meals. if we were ever going to order asian, being this hung was not the time. miles ordered some polish dish or something and it was out lickidy split, i ordered spaghetti, im left to assume they made it from scratch as it took nearly 45 mins to arrive...would this later effect the events of the evening? who knows. after i watched miles eat his meal, he patiently watched me eat mine. we then got the bill..$11.40 and made our way to the night markets, as miles had promised. in walking there i noticed a neon sign pointing to night markets, ones we hadnt been to before. miles wasnt so keen, but i wanted to buy another 5 casios... we set off in a new direction chatting away, asking hypothetical questions to one another over and over. we came to the cross roads where over there road lies a bridge, over the bridge...night markets. after being in tie-land for sometime and also cambodia, we have somewhat got used to crossing the street. eyes forward. nice and easy, give the scooters a chance to swerve you, as ofcourse. there are no such things as road rules in asia...red lights are just suggestions...
we looked left, looked right, looked left again....looked right onces more and commenced crossing, i took my first step out looking left, and saw a scooter steaming around the corner heading our way "woaaahh" i said as i took a step back and watch it sail past my body. as i watched it pass me, miles came in to sight. he was looking right for other scooters, when he looked left, it was too late. he had a honda 4 stroke parked up his ass... when a scooter going 60 hits a man weighing 90 nothing is pretty..the noise of OOHHHEEEGGGHHH like an upper cut to the cut, then a full grown man doing a 540 degree turn 1.5 meters off the ground, as the scooter spins out of control why still carrying what appears to be a dead siem reap local...he wasnt dead....however he was the drunkest man id ever seen, and both concerned were lucky to be alive.
spare a thought for old Henry though. no man needs to see one of his best mates do front flips over scooters...no man...although the incident would have made for great footage, i maintain that my facial expressions could indeed rival the collision its self. let me explain, do it at home if you wish....legs shoulder with apart, knees bent 30 degree's. arms out elbows bent, as if someone is about to throw you a basketball. slap your self in the nose so your eyes glaze over and open your mouth as if someone is trying to throw a smarty in there...thats what i was like for nearly a miniute...i was 1.5 meters away from the crash but 5th on the scene to offer my aid...i didnt sleep much that night....why didnt i order what miles did? we would have finished 45 minutes early? the drunk guy would still be at the pub, why didnt we go to the other night markets? we never would have had to cross that street....anyone seen donnie darko? thats the shit im on about...
i did however enjoy miles being noticed in the street up to 2 hours later...people pointing and shouting in kmere to their friends "the man that defeated a scooter"... yeah thats right, he defeated a scooter...and that man is my pal miles wilson...
so yeah, sorry to ramble, hope its a good yarn. im Henry Nutt, my birthday is on the 19th, so add me on facebook and wish me a happy birthday. if i dont know you i can delete you after, im just in it for the numbers. cheers. Big Easy.
.......Buns here again.