Issues With Authority

Haven't spilled the beans here in a while, sure. But after several inquiries into the whereabouts of a new entry - I have decided to rekindle my blogging flame.

Liar, Liar. Pants on Flames.

Please bare with me, as everything inside my abdominal cavity is seething from the 43 minute "FAIL" montage I just found on you-tube. It just wouldn't let up, you barely get a break for the entirety of the 43 minutes. People coming across serious miss-fortune on bicycles, just kills me. Because they never seem to be able to get their hands down in time to break their face-plant, so their face just squashes up against the asphalt, and grinds along for bit - in that dolphin dive style - with their legs still flailing about in the air. They always seem so determined to clutch the handle-bars allllll the way down, as if they're too stubborn to admit that they have fallen to the point of no return. I had to pause the video and re-group like seventeen times. This new parkour craze is doing wonders for fail videos on the internet also. Yeh, just some things I noticed.

Just quickly - here is the relevant part:
We shared the stage at the UniBar last week with Deep Sea Arcade, who were nice enough to share several  Monica Lebrewski's with us before-hand too. Additionally, they were damn schmick live - real tight, and they make some quality tunes - and their bass player Nick is a babe. Al-right? Great Hair-do. Also -
several people of recent have genuinely thought that The Shiny Brights are no longer. NO DAD. They are still kickin' it. Just thought that should be clarified. Given, we took the foot off the gig-pedal - but for good reasons - mainly, to churn out several more chart topping sonnets.

Who has had #BSACK luck with parking inspector lately? I know I have, and I'm Fuming. Kumar is absolutely spot-on in his appraisal of a cop in this greeeeaaaat clip. This probably applies to Parking inspectors even more so. So I have started to just take things into my own hands:

Exhibit A)














(click that shizz to enlarge)

I think my steaming-to-collected ratio wasn't too bad... considering. I was nothing but honest too - I'm banking on them completely withdrawing my double-whammy fines in exchange for my unparalleled honesty, likelihood = 6%. It would be zero percent, but then I took into account the thousands of people that work for the council, and the fact that there must be some skerrick of possibility that one of them is having an extraordinarily good day - like they just got proposed to or something, and they're just like; This dude seems like a bit of a darl, Stuff it, I'm gonna rip those fines of his right up, alriiiight. Or, at the other end of the working-for-the-council spectrum, they are having an appalling day, and their sequence of events for the day is so amazingly awful - like they just got demoted/pee'd their pants/got knocked back from a 3am date at red square/could only get the TV4ME channel/ someone set their stapler in jelly.....anyway - so their day is so horrific that they just jump on their nude MS-DOS database platform and just start deleting parking fines altogether.  I mean, the latter is really the ideal scenario. Sort of like the gay dude who hit the emergency blow-up slide button, so he could bail on his flight-attendant shift - and just swiped a bottle of clicquot on his way out. Just completely lost it, and created whatever anarchy he could with his last dying employment breath. So I'm sort of just hoping I turn on the news and hear something along those lines - I know it's unlikely - that's why I bequeathed it with a mere 3% chance. The other 3% being for the woman who just got engaged yeah?.....I actually have another separate 250 dollar fine too, but I'm not going to venture there - because when I think about that, I nearly grab two pencils, place one in each nostril, and slam my head on the desk as hard as I can. Hence severing my frontal lobe into three clean pieces (I've been listening to a lot of Necro).

On the up-side - I have sausage casserole for lunch, which is great. It's an old recipe of grandma's - and it's both nostalgic, and delicious to eat. Grandma used to have this cat called Biggles. She found it in a gutter, it's previous "owner" had hit it in the head with a hammer, and left it in the nearby gutter - in an attempt to rid himself of the little kitty. But....what? What a ridiculous way to go about the disposal of an unwanted cat? and what's more, it didn't work? Biggles damn-well lived into his twenties, and spent the majority of his life on Grandma's lazy boy, in-front of an open fire place, in a country house with 3cm long, luscious carpet? Like, why didn't the guy who wanted to get rid of his cat - venture to AT LEAST the next suburb? Or just drown it, purely to ensure first and foremost, that the cat is in fact, dead. I've concluded that the guy was high - and he thought Biggles was a furry nail. I dunno - I just always found that story silly. It could be totally fabricated, I guess. But Biggles DID have a funny shaped noggin.

But shoosh, the point is that we are stock-piling demo's - getting ready to release in the new year. So stay tuned, and don't get that quivering top lip at the thought that we aren't together any-more - because we are. We just like to hide in the tall grass at times. mmmmmmK?


Thanks for your attention.


Buns.

Cream of Corn

Ah?

In case you didn't hear, the one and only Graham "Studdly" Cornes gave us a lil' shout out on 5AA AM radio the other day. *drinking vessels clink*....

He didn't have to do that, you know? But he did. Because he's a good man, and a bloody good used car dealer - who understands the basic principles of supply and demand, and the need for a man to earn some of that sweet Bunse. I would imagine that he would take no less than a 200% mark-up on a second-hand 2003 Toyota Camry (trade in/resale proffdog), and that's why this is a big deal. Studdly is a mover and shaker, and blessed be he who receives thy nod of affirmation from ye Goliath of South Australian football.

A mention must also be made for the subsequent 12 "over fifties users" facebook likes we received as a result of the shout-out - which I for one know would have taken each user at LEAST twenty-five minutes to suss out. What with having to find their prescription glasses case, turning the power on at the wall and on the hard-drive, ringing their nieces who signed them up to Facebook to retrieve their login deets (which is actually written on a post-it stuck to the monitor), sifting through hundreds of undesired results regarding laundry's and white-goods, going through up-to-and-including three earl grey tea's to calm the nerves (which have developed as a result of the flourishing technology), and taking up to thirty seconds to type each individual letter. See what I mean? It's more like fifty minutes, and we haven't even gotten into the possibility of them still rocking a Dial-up internet scheme yet, either. All I am trying to say is, our spike in "likes" doesn't reflect the true value of the interaction. OK?

Twiddle the knobs on your wireless below to 'ave a listen:
Cornesy loves TSB

Cornes muses. He mentions that little-known band - The Temper Trap, who are booked for the AFL Grand Final, should perhaps be told to step aside for the much more established, heaps signed, ARIA chart dominators - The Shiny Brights.....and THAT my friends, is why Studdly is THE MAN.



Furthermore I am a bell-end.....and.....we were devilishly rubbing our palms together when our bestest babes, The Salvadors, recently made a few tunes available for all to listen, via Soundcloud.

Lovin' this tune aye, strewth.
Seriously. It's good.
>>>Acapulco

More to the point, The Salvadors are releasing an album, and if you aren't at the Governor Hindmarsh Hotel on Saturday 13th of October - you are most-probably a Weiner. Nay, a can't hack it panny-waste - who wears his mamma's bra, and plays ball like a girl. So......

Thanks for being there.

Buns -TSB-


 

Hey.

Codswallop

Come at me, Bra......

(I'm so effing sorry about that)

We are jumping with joy (see gif animation above) to be hitting the frog and toad - for our Tightrope tour. The Geggs kick off this weekend at Rocket bar, with Melbournians The Messengers, who have been lassooing impressive reviews and inaugural Triple J airplay of late. They are also snappy dressers, but come to Rocket on Saturday night - and you decide? > This is the funniest thing I have ever read.......Click here.

That's how weak my attention span is.... That link is totally unrelated - and because I did a Simon Sheikh sort of tangent interludy thingy - I had to include the link. Because in actuality I had no idea what I was going to write then. But I think people appreciate the transparent nature of my blog writing. I like to think that in 500 years, they will reflect upon my writings, in like year 8 english comprehension studies, like we did with monolithic literature like William Shakespeare's Hamlet and stuff. Shit is unlikely, but you should read these blogs in case you know? Just cover all your bases? Be wise.

The other night I thought there was a robber at my joint, at like 5 in the morning. I heard this abnormal rustling around the kitchen. Having been awoken from my slumber, I listened intently for a few minutes, then in my hazy bash-faced tiredness (one of my mates noted how ugly I look in the mornings the other day), concluded that it must in fact be an enormous, thieving, meth-lipped black dude. Wielding a bat. A used Bat, with bloody smears all over it. I slowly became more petrified at the thought of just how maliciously he would beat me - should we meet in the hallway. So I then attempted to stealthily fumble around for a weapon. You wouldn't believe it - the only thing I could find was an enormous, hand crafted, hand painted, didgeridoo - that my uncle Hayden gave me years ago.

So I waddle out, half mast, with nay but my aplha undies, and a 7 foot didgeridoo in my hands. Bitch is gonna GET IT. I was muttering stuff to myself, to help taint my intense fear for my life.


After a brief inspection, it became apparent that the would-be robber, was infact my house mate - who had returned after leaving early for work to find his sack or some fucking anti climax of that nature. So nothing happenend. But if I had been in an altercation with the night bandit, the headlines may have read something like these......?

White boy goes MABO on home invader

or

Indigenous man SAYS SORRY....(get it? "sorry"..)

or

Home owner proves to be Didgeri-dangerous...

or

Robber interrupts DREAM TIME for home invasion victim

or

Man, 24, goes Byron Pickett on robbers butt.

I dunno, the list goes on.

The point is you should all be at SCRUNCHIE VS THE SHINY BRIGHTS on Saturday night at Rocket Bar. You won't regret it. But you might.

That should be their tagline.

I'll see you all there. because you are all coming.

Good riddance.

Buns

July 7 @ Rocket, Adelaide w/The MESSENGERS (VIC)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

July 13 @ Rock Lilly, Sydney w/FAKER

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

July 14 @ FBi Social, Sydney w/Dj Cutloose, The Nectars and Train Robbers

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
July 20 @ Revolver, Melbourne w/The MESSENGERS (VIC)

Salutations.

Sorry about a lack of updates but here's a breakdown of what we've been up to! 

We released our latest single Tightrope to the interwebs (intaawibs if you're South Efrican), so far it's been doing pretty well on YouTube and we've got some blog love too. ALSO the clip has been getting spun on RAGE the last few Saturday mornings, I freakin spilt my coco pops all up in my shit. 

We've been taking trips to the beach to write tunes, demo tunes and play shit tonnes of beer pong. Also Alex worked out the synth part to No Mercy's hit "Where Do You Go (My Lovely)". We spilt our coco pops all up in our shit. 

We were all like,

As well as learning 90's euro dance covers, we've been in the studio doing sexy demos with the legendary Matt Hills. 

We'll be touring to promote Tightrope and the clip over the next few weeks so get to da clubz. 

In the meantime enjoy some of my favourite gifs of June. 

Alex.

//The Shiny Brights- Tightrope Tour 2012//

July 7th @ Rocket

w/The Messengers (VIC)

July 14th, Rabbit Hole 1st Birthday @ Fbi Social

w/ DJ Cutloose, The Nectars, Train Robbers + TBA

July 20th 2 Revolver Upstairs

w/The Messengers (VIC

Tight Rope Tour

The Shiny Brights - Tightrope

Hey! HO!.....TIGHT!.... ROPE!

It is with great pleasure that we release our third single that has been produced under the crafty eyes of Paul "Woody" Annison. The Clip Took us the best part of a pleasant, but seedy Sunday. Believe it or not, the clip was made taking every single frame individually. What you are seeing is 1,500 pieces of A3 paper - each with a singular frame on it. Each is held for a single photo, then the subject is moved ever so slightly, to achieve the stagnant movement. GENIUS, I know right? Badass handshakes all round. You can all just buy us beers when we are out next.

The clip was directed by close friend and creative juggernaut Tom Stevens, to whom I owe a carefully cooked chocolate pudding, or something of that ilk.

We hope you enjoy, and please share around feely! Free Willy!

Totally Love you guys.



-TSB-

Free Download of the new single here!

Hearts.

Monet, Manet, tippi-tippi Day day.....

How Good is the Woopsie animation?

I lolled. Some may have even LSHMTFOIMC'd.....
(Laughing so hard my turban falls off into my curry) this is actually a recognised acronym - I read it somewhere.

The other day I went to the movies/pictures/flicks/films, (depending on what decade you were born in, or which english county you prefer) I went to see "The Five Year Engagemnt". I thought to myself, before I enter the cinema - I'll sidle over to the Candy Bar - just to ensure they are stocking the appropriate confectionery/ popcorn butter. After twice turning down service offers from the drastically overstaffed cinema eatery, I came to the conclusion that I best purchase a beverage, just in case I need a vice to detract my attention away from how potentially annoyed I may be half way through the film - if it's as Borry as the trailer suggests. It was upon ordering my large diet coke - for which price I could have probably flown Jason Segel to the Piccadilly for a game of checkers - that a moment of pure bliss and disbelief came over me. I strolled up to the register, where I was confronted by the Veronicas backing dancers (5 staff members at once - who's doing the rosters here?) and politely requested they fix me a large diet coke. The Selena Gomez serving me yells down the assembly line...(I still can't believe this - the poooooor girl) in a moment of devastating awkwardness like I have never seen, she goes "One large COCK please...COKE! One Large COKE!".

Ooooooh man.


I couldn't even hide my embarrassment for her, I was choking on mouth farts trying to contain my amazement. She then tries to mop-up her sexually connotative error by offering "...ooooo what's on MY mind hey??"... The hole she had dug was so deep she was flicking lava out with her spade. All the while, she hasn't actually realised THAT I AM STILL STANDING THERE LISTENING. I'm still eagerly awaiting my large diet coke obviously - I fucking paid for it in gold bullion. She looks up and notices that I was, in fact,  there the whole time. She had a look on her face like her mum just burnt her winning lottery ticket after deeming it to be sinful. She then places her now frantically shaking hand over her mouth and just mutters "Oh. My. God...". THEN - the best part.....SHE JUST LEAVES. Bang. Just like that. See you fucking later - I'm clocking off. I may never, ever return. Her embarrassment could only be measured in Killer Whales, or mining transport vehicles.

I had gargantuan props for her prompt exit. Her aesthetically similar friend ended up getting me the delayed soda. She looked at her shoes and slid it across the counter. I had the biggest grin you have ever seen on my face and just said,

 "Thank you.....

....SO MUCH"

Unbelievable event.

You know what else promises to be an awesome event? Monday.
Because MOnday my friends, is the day that The Shiny Brights drop their newest single!!! YAY-town!
Confetti and streamers people!

Stay tuned and be the first to hear it, and to see the stunning new film clip - one with a clever edge, you just wait and see you skallywags! Aye!

All the best. Ron Artest. Meta World Peace.

Buns.

PS - The movie turned out to be funny, best night ever.

I also made this appropriate image.

Bye.

Woopsie...

Con-Vinced.

These are some picture messages I have received recently.
We got Beebs there, with some weepers. Penocchio (look closely). Also Dong kwok.

Giggidy.

Because all you Barry’s check this blog every few hours - eagerly sifting for another dose of humour and intrigue; you may have seen The Brights do a little diddy or two on a rooftop in Sydney? Dem clips were filmed by two Sydney lads who were even cooler than the local scenesters down at the Excelsior. Believe it or not we conquered the two chunes in minimal takes, and they colour graded the footage to make us look more tanned and sexual, even if I was ear-tagged as looking like a sexual predator - One who preys in the night,  outside 24 hour fast food outlets, or even better – near cab ranks. Anyway- share around the clips, we will get some sort of viral toilet flush going. Maybe.

I looked out of the window this morning and became fixated on one of those really old codgers that just does laps of the block, but at a charismatic rate of like 400 metres per hour. Hushpuppies – check. Repping one of those old man baggy hats, pants up near the navel, and enough bryll-creem to lube a chimney. He just shuffles maybe 8 or 9 steps and then just takes in the scenery with his hands interlocked behind his back, as if to say “being in a rush is for poonces, mate”. People will argue that his sloth like pace is due to a double hip replacement, and copping seven 9mm slugs to the solar-plexus in World War 2, but I think he is just making a point? When is the last time you went for a walk, and just looked at shit? Without a destination or timeframe? I live on a busy road too, not even the screeching of exhaust brakes or the wafting smell of manure as a piggery truck passes can shake this guy – who I have named Vince. It’s so awesome to observe this dude, especially when he reaccommodates his extremely high beige slacks, it’s as if he wants his ciggie packet in his top pocket to god-damn-well rest on his belt buckle, like a boob shelf. I could have a boob shelf if I wanted. When I am Vince’s age – I’ll be shelving my darts. On my boob – not my up my nuse. Ok?

I just can’t stop writing about this Leeeeedge. Vince usually rolls about 300 meters down Portrush, and sometimes hobbles...nay – leans, into the Marden shopping centre. Like, he has a gangster lean (probably the hip, not dissimilar to the lean of Wiz Khalifa), and it is here - on a bench next to the 80’s style water feature, that he catches up with his other grossly Italian pals. Call their daily union queer, but I watch them toss around banta in rapid Italiano, and I am deeply jealous, and feel like a boring wanker. I popped into the woollies the other day to pickup some fetta cheese, steel wool and twix’s, and as I was leaving the check-out they gestured to me amongst themselves, and were obviously throwing around hilarious jokes about my clothes/hair-do/infant face/weird walking style. I locked eyes with one of them briefly – then I did this......

But, instead of feeling self-conscious – I just felt left-out. Just desperately un-funny. I think they respected that. I’m also well aware that because I can’t puree my own tomatoes from my watered concrete veggie patch, into a delicious Napolitano sauce - I will never be truly accepted into their circle.

But will the Shiny Brights be accepted into your circle? Into your social media realm? Into your hearts and Ice-breaking conversations around the workplace water cooler? You better consider this sooner or later, because there are many-a-iron-in-the-fire.....and by that I mean we have a newly acquired, peeeeeaar-ful (powerful) mojo for writing a new brand of dreamy guitar soaked indie rock music that promises to make even the gloomiest Jimmy Bollard nod his head. Comprende?  

Thanks for your time. If you havent seen the coustic numbers - they are the previous two posts.

Tickity Boo.

Buns -TSB-

Yir.