Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Titles are for idiots...

A few things to get off my chest before we get into this weeks reading.

1. The fucker who stole my bin at work has got some serious shit coming, I am not walking halfway across the office to throw out a chewing gum wrapper. To combat this I am sticking all my old chewies together, combined with paper to create an enormous paper "gumche" ball to go into a yet to be designated bin. I will make my choice over the next few days.

2. We have a day long baby shower for a collegue today…….everyone brought in home made cakes but me….I'll go buy some doritos on my lunch break. Never knew so many people were amateur bakers. If you're going to bake a cake for the band a cake please don't dissapoint us with orange flavoured icing, no one likes getting a little land mine of orange rind in their teeth. Double banana would be much appreciated….

3. The "dude" who keeps destroying my cubicle of choice in the office toilets, thank you, you've ruined what was once a place of peace and great productivity.






Right,

So we’re off to record in Melbourne in a few days to do a couple of new songs. This will be a time of great productivity and table tennis tournaments. Essentially what will happen is it will turn into a Table Tennis World Cup. Wolf (Germany), Chris (Sweeden), Miles (Uganda), James (China) and myself (Poland). I will lose in the first round, swiftly followed by James, then Wolf (sucked in) and then Chris and Miles will battle it out in a Table Tennis fight to the death.
Miles has speed and agility but Chris has experience (a one time Mr Table Tennis 2003). Chris will then go on to win, and then win the lady of his choice. Sometimes a KIA Sportage will be thrown in too.

We'll keep you posted.

-Alex "forehand" Rajkowski

Monday, May 16, 2011

as promised...

Even stranger talk......

So, last Friday The Shiny’s played with Melbournians STRANGE TALK, so I thought it would be fitting to herald this blog with the theme – Strange/abnormally awkward.....talk.

Example number ONE:

It all began about six months ago, Milesy had been at his new place of employment for only a week or so. I work on the second floor of a building yeah? Which means we have an elevator yes? One that is big enough for say....two or three burley men. Anyhoo Bottom line is, awkward. Or if your into new school slang “awkers”.

So I am that fresh faced dude around the office that people don’t quite know yet from a bar of soap, or a tea towel....But nonetheless, me and the other employees roll past each other in the office, squat slightly, point at each other and go “eeeeyyy Budddyy, my maaaan” etc. Like some fiendish nod to the Phons, who I never ever watch/watched – but still mimic anyway, in a desperate attempt to connect with my older colleagues. So shit. So this one particular day I knock off and pop into the lift.....with this chic...who isn’t too bad on the eye....
We kick things off in the lift with utter silence, and only the odd squeek from the elevator shaft. She is looking at her feet, so am I. I’m thinking – this must be the worlds slowest lift, please hurry. I’m begging you....elevator...man.. So I glance over and notice she is holding two bananas (I will remind you at this point that this is 100% true) after careful thought, I offer.......”Ah. Double Banana”..

WHAT.THE.FUCK.IS.THAT

Double Banana?!? For fucks sake. I had to stand there for another 30 seconds??? In silence, after the most absurd sentence I’ve maybe ever said. You could have cut the awkwardness with a butter knife. So now this bird thinks I’m some retarded maniac, and I run into her nearly everyday. She avoids me. I would too?? So I told my mate Dan at work about the incident, sometimes he draws two bananas on my diary. Perfect example of Strange Talk.

Here is also a strange picture to aid this blog...

Example Number 2:



A friend at work took this last week.

It reads "Please keep of the lawn until it is established, say - may 13th??" seems good to me bro.

Awesome.